Panic started to make its way into my head. She always did this when things got a little tense between us. The cynical comments, the rude jokes. I could feel she was pulling up the walls again. But I wouldn’t let her cop out. Not this time. Not on what might be our last night together.
I gently placed my hands on her hips. Instantly she froze and locked her eyes straight onto mine. Her face lost all its carelessness as if she had flipped a switch. She looked serious, maybe even a little hurt. I could almost see the flood of thoughts pouring into that beautifully complex mind of hers.
Looking into her honey colored eyes, I felt like standing on the edge of an abyss. The only thing I could think about was how much I wanted to be with her. Be in her. I let myself fall into her.
Slowly I leaned my head forward so that my lips where close to her ear. At the same time my hands pulled her a little closer. I shivered as I felt our upper legs touch. I could feel her warm breath on my cheek. She was panting as I used my right hand to tuck her hair behind her ear, making sure I briefly brushed the skin on her temple. The words came out slowly and in a whisper.
‘Layla. Everyday you flaunt your opens wounds at me, but you won’t allow me to help you heal them. You know, I would kiss every brick I pulled down from those walls you surround yourself with. My heart is crying your name in every second that I’m breathing. I’m trying to swim across the river to you, but the current is so strong. Layla, you’re making it so strong. And I’m exhausted.’
I could feel her holding her breath, her body was tense. While moving my head back to face her again, I placed her head in my hands. Her eyes were wide open but fixed on mine. I could see tears building up. She sobbed, her body shuddered while trying to keep in whatever emotions were fighting their way to the surface. Fear was building up inside of her again. Eating away at her heart for so long.
It felt like I was moving through water when I leaned forward. My lips graced hers. I could feel her full, soft mouth touching mine. It was warm and gentle. Hesitating. The kiss was shy and so subtle. If time hadn’t stopped I might have not felt it at all. All of my love and all of her pain was in that touch. Our universes collided. She didn’t reciprocate.
There we stood, frozen in that moment. Tears started rolling down her face. Her breath was irregular and hot on my lips. She slowly but thoughtfully placed her arms around my waist and pushed her mouth on mine so very delicately. I could feel so much passion behind it. The walls collapsed. Our kiss intensified. I pulled back and looked at her. She stared at me passionately with eyes red and a flushing face. I kissed her salty eyes, one after the other.
‘I’m never going to let you get hurt again.’