#5

Photo by Luis Galvez on Unsplash

‘It starts with one thing. Always with one, seemingly meaningless thing. A look, a touch, a kiss. Going by unnoticed or not reciprocated soon enough. Or right enough. One little thing that results in one little crack. Followed by another thing to form another little crack. And before you know it the whole thing is covered in cracks and everything just falls apart. It always turns either weird or messy. Sometimes even both. Why am I so shitty in relationships and always end up with some sort of cluster-fuck shitstorm to deal with?’

My mind wandered. Contemplating. I’ve had a few relationships. Some insignificant, some meaningful. But pretty much all of them ended with me wondering if the train-wreck could burn more slowly.

‘Maybe if I wasn’t so goddamn broken.’

I certainly had my fair share of issues to deal with and shit to clean up. But where I saw other people finding a significant other to help them sort through it all, I just ended up with people that would somehow make it all worse. The connection never went deep enough.

I looked at myself in the bedroom mirror and took a deep breath.

‘You got this.’